Yes, it’s possible to have great sex after menopause! One of the most common complaints among menopausal women is a low sex drive, so if this is you, you are not alone. These changes are normal, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept them. There are a lot of reasons for a reduced sex drive so it’s important to be open and honest with your doctor about how you’re feeling. Based on your symptoms, your doctor can help determine what’s causing these changes. And the good news is that there are a variety of treatment options available to help increase your libido.
Common Reasons for Low Sex Drive
Age – Women are 2-3 times more likely as men to experience reduced desire as they age.
Hormone Changes – Changing hormones can wreak havoc on a woman. Around the time of menopause, estrogen levels begin to drop, which can lead to symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, lethargy, vaginal dryness, and more. And of course, a dip in desire. After all, if you are dealing with all those other issues, romance may not be high on your list of priorities.
Other Health Problems – Issues like depression, anxiety, bladder control problems, chronic illness, and medications may also cause lack of desire.
Relationship Troubles – Sometimes your lack of desire may not just be physical. If you are having relationship problems, it can certainly stall your sex drive.
Stress – The daily grind of work, kids, family, friends, chores – and, and, and – can be enough to make anyone’s libido dip. Women are busy juggling a million things a day so it’s not surprising that sexy time often takes a back seat.
So, now that we know some of the causes, let’s look at some of the things that can be done to increase your libido.
Treatment Options
Hormones– Your doctor may recommend using an oral or topical estrogen which can greatly help with symptoms discussed earlier, such as hot flashes and night sweats. Estrogen also thickens the vaginal tissue which can help make sex feel better. Again, as all women are different, discussing these options with your doctor is the best thing to do.
Consider Changing Medicines – While some medicines can help with one issue, they can cause another. An example is how medicines for blood pressure and depression have been known to affect your sex drive. Talk to your doctor about other options.
Lubrication – With vaginal tissue thinning during menopause, sex can be more painful, and that can certainly make you want to avoid sex. Lubrications can help. Products like KY jelly help add moisture and make sex more pleasurable.
Retrain Your Brain – Sometimes it’s not a pill or a cream or a lotion that’s needed to kick start a waning libido. Oftentimes, it can be as simple as making small changes at home – and rethinking how you think about intimacy. So, changing your approach to how you view sex and intimacy with your partner can make a big difference. Here are some things to try:
Make Time For Each Other – In the midst of our busy lives, sex can end up on the back burner. If you and your partner are intentional about spending time together, (without the kids), you can begin to reconnect, which can help you in the bedroom. Get a sitter, have date nights, enjoy each other’s company.
Focus on Your #1 Sex Organ: Your Brain – The brain is the first thing to get turned on, and new things help with that. Try changing where you have sex, the positions, the roles, etc. Believe it or not, the more you have sex, the more you’ll want to have.
It’s Okay to Put Yourself First – Focus on yourself during sex. What feels good to you? What pace do you like? Putting your pleasure first is not only okay, it may help you relax and enjoy the moment more. And that will probably make it more enjoyable for your partner as well.
Remember Foreplay –- Foreplay is even more important with age since you may take longer to respond. Make sure you give yourself enough time to cuddle and kiss like you used to. By not making climaxing the goal, you might be surprised that it happens anyway.
Look Beyond Your Bed
Things that happen out of your bed can affect what goes on in it. Try these tips:
Talk to Your Partner – If your lack of desire really has nothing to do with how you feel about your partner, tell him. He may think it’s about him and feel rejected. Talking about what you’re going through and your likes and dislikes, will bring you closer and help to improve your sexual experience.
Take a Look in the Mirror – Are you feeling good about yourself? Many women feel their sexiest when they feel good about their bodies. If this is you, think about what will make you feel better. Whether it’s buying a new outfit, getting your hair done or hitting the gym, sometimes these small changes can make all the difference. Just remember, this is for you – not him – because when you feel better about yourself first, you’ll feel better about everything.
Reach Out – Sometimes your feelings may run much deeper so you may need to turn to a counselor for help. Either go by yourself or as a couple. Either way this may be the extra support you need.
We Can Help
As we have seen, there are many causes for lack of sexual desire once menopause approaches, but there are a lot of things you can do to get past this phase and start enjoying sex again.
Call us at 770.720.7733 or schedule an appointment today to discuss with your doctor.
