It was Saturday morning, and already my wife had been working for several hours at the computer, sitting ramrod straight in her chair. No doubt she was stressed out, with too many projects on her plate. It seemed like the perfect time for the surprise I had been planning.
With a flourish, I invited Ann to come with me to my office. She raised her eyebrows. “Can’t it wait?”
I said no. Reluctantly she accompanied me upstairs. Once in my office, I moved to my computer and selected a song I had recently added to my play list. The music began, and everything was ready. I asked Ann to dance.
Lionel Richie and Diana Ross’s duet “Endless Love” was all the rage back in the day. I remember dancing to the song, feeling deeply in love. The piano played softly, and then the lyrics came…
“My love…there’s only you in my life…the only thing that’s bright…” What a charming romantic I was!
Ann rolled her eyes and reminded me she had been busy. Her reaction surprised me. I thought she would gaze adoringly into my eyes with the look I remembered from years before. But Ann’s body remained stiff. Instead of feeling like the star high school quarterback dancing with the head cheerleader, I began to feel like the nerd the girls feel sorry for but try to avoid anyway.
I was annoyed. Fall in love with me again, why don’t you already? Tactfully I expressed my concern that our once special memories of dancing to our song meant nothing to her now.
“Our song?” Ann pulled her head back to look me in the face. “We never danced to that song – I never even LIKED that song!”
Oops. That was an unexpectedly awkward revelation.
Well, at least that explained why she wasn’t exactly melting in my arms. I could feel Ann’s body tensing even more as the implication of my mistaken memory became clear to both of us. Our dance became more and more stilted until we were essentially standing still in the middle of my office.
I could feel the question coming.
“So Michael,” Ann opened, “which one of your ‘past loves’ did you enjoy this wonderful song with?”
Funny you should ask my dear, I thought to myself, I was just wondered the same thing myself.
A surgeon in the middle of an operation would call this “getting into unexpected bleeding.” It had seemed like the perfect plan – play a song of tender memories, and instantly transform Ann from the “I have too many things to do” stressed out woman to the “I am so lucky to have you as a husband” happy wife. A beautiful Saturday afternoon would follow, with Ann gazing at me adoringly whenever I walked by, even if I was just scratching myself.
Now all I wanted was to get this angry hellion out of my office. The music continued to play as I held a now jealous wife in my arms. This was not “Endless Love.” This was “Endless Dance.” Would you please shut up already, Lionel?
“It wasn’t that we ever danced to this song,” I explained disingenuously.“It’s just that whenever I hear it I think about you and how much I love you.” It was the right thing to say, a good line, really – but I delivered it half heartedly voice, in a perfunctory oh-let-me-just-say-it- and-get-it-over-with sort of way.
Ann surprised me by laughing out loud. She seemed delighted by my obvious lack of candor.
”Oh really?” She betted her eyelashes batting coquettishly. “Do you really mean it?”
“Oh yes,” I responded, smiling at her like used car salesman. “I would never lie to you, my darling.”
Ann laughed again. And remarkably, she rested her face against my chest with a happy smile on her face. Her body relaxed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so stressed out lately,” she said a few moments later.
My plan had worked after all! Ann had actually melted in my arms. Womanhood, what a remarkable mystery. Maybe it’s not choosing the right song that matters most. Sometimes you get credit just for the effort.
-Dr. Mike Litrel
